There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
