i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
