We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
How's work?
Spinning.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
