He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
