..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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