brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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