I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
where are my eyebrows?
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
