so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
