Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
