Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
