so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
