its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Randomize
