I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
