You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
