Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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