And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
