We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
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