Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
