You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
