Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
