ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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