Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Randomize
