I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
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