I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Reggie can tackle my bush.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
wow bdsm is so cute
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