well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Its about making memories worth repressing
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
Just took my morning after pill in the library
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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