he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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