It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
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