Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Randomize
