I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Randomize
