I molested 6 butterflies tonight
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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