a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
