thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
