BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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