the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
