Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
