I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Randomize
