he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I just want nice things and good sex
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
