Clothes are such an inconvenience.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
