My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
my being single is dangerous.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Randomize
