I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
