he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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