If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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