It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Randomize
