Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize
