I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
We had to coat check the pizza.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Randomize
