is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
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