cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
