It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Randomize
