I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
i've created a new STD.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Randomize
