loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
