are you still at the devil's house?
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
